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This Is Not What I Ordered: conversations on chronic illness, loss + change


Mar 13, 2024

Today I’m joined by Brynn Saito: educator, organizer, and award-winning poet. Brynn’s latest collection of poetry, Under a Future Sky, was inspired by her visit to the Gila River in southern Arizona, the place where where her grandparents were imprisoned during World War II era incarceration of the Japanese American community. Together, we delve into that visit with her father and grandparents, and explore the family writing project that emerged from the journey. Along the way, we also discuss her personal health experience with endometriosis and fertility.

In this conversation, Brynn examines the intergenerational impact of trauma and the healing power of storytelling. We discuss the Yonsei Memory Project, an initiative Brynn co-founded to honor Japanese American elders' experiences during World War II incarceration. We also focus on Brynn’s personal health journey, navigating endometriosis and fertility challenges, and the intersection between personal and collective healing. Brynn's poignant narrative invites us all to contemplate the transformative potential of storytelling, poetry, intergenerational dialogue, and embracing vulnerability in the pursuit of healing and connection.

Episode Highlights:

  • Brynn's journey to Gila River: visiting the site of her grandparents’ incarceration during World War II.

  • Journey through landscapes: From internment camps to fertility struggles, Brynn navigates physical and emotional terrain.

  • Acknowledging the past: Brynn's storytelling prompts reflection on honoring one's heritage while navigating the present.

  • Embracing truth: Highlighting bravery in confronting and embracing personal history.

  • Transformative power of storytelling: Reflecting on healing and self-discovery through narrative.

  • The Yonsei Memory Project: Preserving and sharing Japanese American history.

  • Healing through vulnerability: Brynn shares her journey of infertility and the role of poetry in transformation.

Quotes:

"It's been quite healing on a multigenerational kind of scale to be able to connect through the generations about this story, about what happened to us."

"It can feel scary to be curious or ask what happened…but it's never too late to open that conversation."

"Have that trust and faith that healing will continue."

"There's something very loving about inviting our family members to step outside of the role they've always been in."

"It's about bridging generational gaps and fostering emotional expression."

"Your voice is wise now, beyond kindness."

"There's something about place and returning somewhere where the energy of ancestors were."

"It taps into all these larger questions around just gender and power and social expectations and what it means to mother and be a mother."

"Using the poetry and the writing to kind of dance with all of this has saved me.”

"When you share your work with the world this way... it's almost like a relief to hear someone being open about this."

"It does feel healing... just really less alone and just feeling like, ‘Oh, this is a safe place.’"

"I think poetry belongs to all of us."

"Sometimes I think of my poems as these little creative little children that kind of live in the world and take on a life of their own."

Links:

This Is Not What I Ordered

Lauren Selfridge

Brynn Saito